Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Another discovery - freedom from fear

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. - 1st John 4:18 (KJV)

There are some things noticed when one has them and others only noticed after they are gone.

Sleep deprivation was like that. Until I used a CPAP machine and experienced real deep sleep, I never knew I was sleep deprived. What I have now is too good, may I never be sleep deprived again!

I did not notice the fear, either, until I realized, today, it was gone. May it never return!

God has touched me and filled me with His love in a special way and I am on a journey I don't know how long will last or where it will go, but I sure like the ride!!

Today was a particularly nasty day at work with people I am trying to serve complaining about the pickiest things. First complaining I did too much, then complaining I did too little, then complaining that what I did was wrong, sending notes up their chain of command to their bosses and my bosses; it was a mess.

What I noticed, praying on my way home, was that I was not concerned - it wasn't a lack of caring, I do care, it was a lack of fear; not being afraid of what someone might think or do nor of what might happen. I then noticed I was no longer afraid of what might happen to my children, either, if they make wrong life choices, not worried about what pain I might feel in my body, or what accident could happen on the way home.

I did not have to tell myself not to be afraid or not to worry - the worry wasn't even there to ignore. Again, it wasn't that I did not care - I care about my life and my family and living; it was that I was not worried or fearful. I knew things would be OK by God's grace.

I remember a friend telling me he was an alcoholic because when he drank he did not have fear; others have told me the same thing. This may be the answer for those struggling with those addictions; I wouldn't know because that is not my struggle.

My inner feelings and thoughts are filled with the peaceful assurance God has delivered me from any authority of darkness (my interpretation: bad things) (Colossians 1:13) and He doesn't just tolerate me and my shortcomings, He is for me, and is blessing my socks off! It is not feeling bad things won't happen, I'm old enough to know better, it is, instead, a strange knowing that God, being for me, is preventing a lot of bad things from happening and making the rest, both good and bad, work for His purposes, my good, and my greatest joy.

Thinking about this on the way home I could understand the scripture that says perfect love casts out all fear. I could see how Paul would write
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:31 (KJV)
and the Psalmist could write:
I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me. - Psalm 118:5 (KJV)

Good riddance, fear, I am under new management!

No comments:

Post a Comment